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Clearing the lens of judgement.

Clearing the lens of judgment, Healing ii 

Our society is a very troubled society. We are battling with so many social ills; gender-based violence, crime, teenage pregnancy, mental health issues, pressure from social media and the list goes on and on. Seemingly, as a community, we have been very good at identifying the causes and effects. However, in between all of that we have forgotten that we perpetuate either; the causes, effects, and sometimes both.

We complain about why abused men and women do not open up about their experiences. We whine about people that “take too long” to talk about their suicidal attempts and mental health. We do not stop there, we take it a step further and dismiss these experiences as crazy or worthy of perseverance. We deploy judgment and criticism instead of empathy and comprehension, solving the above mentioned social ills will take a great deal of time if we continue to deploy the former instead of bringing the latter into context. 

We are a hurting society that refuses to heal through honest and uncomfortable conversations and so we continue hurting each other obliviously, hurting people hurting others. We are unable to wear our scars with pride as a result of insecurities. As a black community, this continues to cripple and destabilize the very foundation of prosperity we are trying to build for future generations.

Observing situations with a pair of binoculars whose lens is that of judgment narrows our minds while simultaneously denying us growth opportunities, opportunities to impact, and opportunities to drive change, opportunities to break generational curses. There is absolutely nothing wrong with standing by our personal beliefs and values, but there is everything wrong with shaming a woman who cannot birth children, with shaming and judging a man who is unemployed, a college dropout, a man who cries. There are so many scenarios that we see in our daily lives that we look with a lens of judgment and say under our breaths ‘That can never be me’ or ‘what the hell is s/he thinking’.

In the spirit and light of Freedom Month, it would do us a lot of good to begin to open up uncomfortable conversations about why we judge other people. 

Perhaps then we will realize how badly bruised we are as individuals and begin our own healing journeys. These conversations might hurt but we need them so that we start talking about tangible solutions to our social ills, and eventually, or economic ills. The lens of judgment is not going to break generational curses nor return the glory of the black community, rather it will perpetuate a script play of broken people in a bloodshed scene, hurting people hurting others. Let us open up our minds and start making conscious practices and conversations that will enable us to understand each other, engaging with each other not only from a place of curiosity but a place of generously and genuinely caring and looking out for each other. Let us begin to free ourselves as the black nation so that future generations have different struggles to fight. 

Empathy over judgment, comprehension over criticism, and we will prevail.


Blog post by: Selokela Molamodi Editor:  Tokelo Hlagala FB: KCS Book Club