“I have often said, I wish everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that is not the answer” Jim Carrey.
As a young person going into my mid 20’s having hopes and aspirations of becoming something great, achieving my goals, securing some qualifications and buying that house on the beach with a sports car parked in the garage. I have begun to contemplate what happens when I achieve all of these? Upon my contemplation, l discovered that a man’s desires are like the vast ocean, always welcoming streams of water from far and near, there is always room for more. I began to ponder; that perhaps the acquisition of material stuff and achieving the various goals we have is not where we find happiness, and that perhaps fulfilment lies internally.
We see men and women achieve the greatest of successes and receive the greatest of accolades. Yet to our surprise we see them succumb to depression and resort to suicide whilst having acquired all that the greater part of us wish to have in our possession. Perhaps this is an indication for you and l, to realize that there is more to this thing we call life than accumulation of trophies, accolades, certificates of recognitions and wealth.
Power question is therefore; how then do we create a life we do not need an escape from?
We dread Monday mornings and anxiously anticipate Fridays– as it is the period that we are away from the places that bring us misery, we further lament Sundays for they are a reminder that tomorrow it is back to hell, back to work. We dread the sight of examination rooms, for they are a reminder that we are not doing what we are passionate about. We dread going to our workplace and further dread going back to our homes as that is where our partners will be waiting for us, as they also serve a constant reminder that instead of waiting to find a person who’s heart moves at the same beat, rhythm and melody as ours, we engaged in a relationship with them because we were single and lonely. And perhaps, they too were single, and maybe lonely – instead of waiting, we ‘just’ settled, perhaps time was no longer on our side we thought, and the biological clock was ticking faster than ever.
Some of us are in relationships that are frustrating us, and we have been so long in them that we feel there is no escape. We went for people who were ticking all the boxes that have been set by society. In doing so we have overlooked some of the pivotal elements and traits those individuals have. Several years down the line we have married those individuals, we have kids with them, we married in community of property, and we look at divorcing them, we ponder on the time we have invested in the relationship, we ponder about the impact the separation will have on the kids, we are now prisoners in what was supposed to be paradise, and the stakes us now a bit steep, for now to can depart from this relationship, it is no longer about us only.
“Sometimes the life we want does not measure up to who we are, everything we want is energy, everything, and it takes a lot of hard work to be in alignment with all the things we desire, but when we accept and understand that the journeys of our lives are unique and that we need to align with higher power, we start moving in the same rhythm with the vibrations, we as a result begin creating a life that we need not to escape, for we enjoy the good that comes with it, we endure the bad that comes with it, as we understand that it is merely a passing phase” Selokela Molamodi.
Sometimes the life we want requires us to let go of the life we are leading, in order to respond to the energy that is emerging from the inside out. We ought to be open to unlearning certain practices and ideologies, so as to be able to communicate from the inside out – instead of the outside in– only then can we be able to drown out the voices of society compelling us how best to lead our lives.
“In order to create a life that we need no escape from, my view is that, each and every one of us needs to understand and ask themselves these questions – why are we here on earth, what are we here to do & how can they do it? If we can answer these questions with connection from a higher source, we can start living a satisfactory life. Everything we need, we possess from within” Sakhumzi Dukwe.
Men like Martin Luther king, Nelson Mandela have lived and left a legacy for mankind. This has led scholars, philosophers, theologians into wondering how and why others reach such levels and have an everlasting impact than others. Many have said, ‘it is through responding to the calling and taking heed of the inner voice that says- ‘this is your purpose here on earth’ Perhaps, if we want to lead the life we need no escape from, we ought to start listening to the inner voice which is said to be a ‘calling’.
In the hierarchy of needs psychologist Abraham Maslow postulates that as human beings there are a set of needs that form part of us humans, they are necessary, such as a sense of belongingness, safety & security to name the least. At times we do have the ideal job which speaks to our calling and passion but the unfortunate part becomes that we are only fulfilled in one level of the hierarchy of needs, we had spent an eternity focusing on that one aspect of needs, and we have in the process neglected other essential needs in life. As the saying goes – no man is an island and no one ‘need’ can fully fulfil the heart in the absence of other needs above-mentioned. Hence we ought to make it a point that in creating the ideal life – one which we will not need an escape from, we have to consciously work with each and every aspect of our life stated in the hierarchy of needs.
In the book the alchemist, Paulo Coehlo says ‘the world’s greatest lie is that at some point in our lives, we lose control of our lives. And so many of us have fallen prey to this narrative and hold it near and dear, as we believe that it is meant to be, that we have no control, therefore, we sit back and hope things will fall into place, and ultimately things fall apart.
With all said, l hope you take this one key lesson, which is – you hold the key to your happiness and fulfillment. The answers are all around for you to discover and heed what speaks to your soul and beliefs, above all, if we can open our hearts & minds, and become intentional in every aspect of our life, we can create lives we do not need to escape.
Blog by Tokelo Hlagala Edited by: Howard Zondo