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My useless apology

I’m ashamed to be associated with the male human species, I’m ashamed to be a man in this day an age, The nobility of being a head of a family has since departed, The nobility of being a protector of the clan is obsolete, 

Instead of being the protector, he is the predator, Instead of being the head, he’s the reason she’s Constantly at her knees, praying for protection, praying for a better day.

I’m ashamed, I’m ashamed that when I walk in the dark night, sometimes in broad daylight and I come across a woman, I can see her fear, in her sudden change in movement, I can feel her fear, in how she keeps eye contact.

                    ………                         ……………….                         ……….

There came a point in time when she got tired, Where confiding in friends was of no assist, Where crying was of no assist, where she thought what would happen if someday he led her to her demise.

I’m ashamed, I’m ashamed that you went to go to get a protective order to protect yourself from him and when you got to the police station it was “a man” who was designated to assist, who told you to go and fix your personal things with your husband, 

I’m ashamed of what a man said to you,The man who was designated to assist you, because one that was supposed to protect you had become your terror, I’m ashamed that he told you that in opening a case against him you would ruin his career, his life, not knowing it was your life he would today take, 

I’m sorry that the mother you cried to, tried to talk to, told you that “lebitla la mosadi ke bogadi”, I wonder what she now thinks as she stands by your grave, and sees your kids as orphans, I’m sorry that she told you gore “mosadi o swara thipa ka bogaleng”, she wasn’t aware it was a samurai sword, 

I’m sorry that the girlfriend who you confided in, told you that “all relationships have a setbacks”, there’s nothing new with yours, That it will eventually pass, she wasn’t aware it would be your life that would pass 

I’m sorry your wildest fears have been realized, Your children are now orphans, over what could have been prevented, But could haves, would haves, should haves won’t amend the broken,

I’m sorry your daughter won’t have anyone to call in terms of her own struggles, I’m sorry you won’t get the opportunity to tell her about her first period, because you lived in a period, age and stage where patriarchy reigned supreme, where man got away with evil deeds, I AM SORRY

 

@Tokelo Afrocentric Hlagala